The house is quiet so it's easy to begin writing before I even sit down at the computer. I let my mind begin to wander. While in this state I discover things about myself or my characters.
I'm beginning to come to terms with my dark side. I'm not afraid of her anymore. The understanding that I'm just not that 'nice' was tough at first. The world doesn't see that side. They see the funny, sociable side. They wouldn't understand the darker part, the melancholy part. When I was young, that's the part where my poetry came from...my best stuff came from that version of me. I spent years forgetting she was there.
Now I usually write from somewhere in the middle. It's an almost physical sensation of putting myself in a bubble. A Venn diagram of me. I sit writing in that overlapping section. Easily able to reach to either side. I step out of the center to make lunch or let the dog out, then go back to the overlap. When I'm truly in flow, I'm completely on the dark side. And it's fantastic. I realize this sounds clichéd but it feels like I'm standing on the cliffs with the wind whipping through my hair and waves crashing on the rocks below. My blood hums through my veins and in those moments, only those moments, do I feel like myself. Real. So real. So perfectly me.
I don't share this lightly. I know it sounds a bit insane. But...
Hell, maybe I am. I don't care.
I like sitting there, on the dark side, with fabulous things flying from my fingers.
~Kim
